Grizzly Man: How Else Would It End

I've been watching a lot of movies lately. I mean, I am a regular movie-watcher but recently i've rented from Lost Weekend Video often enough to finally be on a first name basis with all 4 of the cute clerks behind the desk. They know i like Italian film, old movies, new movies, kung fu...they know a lot about me now and i'm ok with it. (Lost Weekend Video is also next to Ritual Coffee house, which makes for a nice duality - coffee, then video, but i digress, back to grizzly man.)
While Grizzly Man is supposedly a documentary, it should definitely be filed under comedy when it moves off the new release shelf. I mean, this thing is seriously ridiculous. And i love animals. I really do. I love some four legged creatures more than humans in some ways (and no, not that way) - i respect the peace and quiet of natural habitat, i leave no trace, i have experienced some of my most prolifically peaceful moments on mountaintops, while climbing them, and descending.

I saw a mountain lion once, they are abundant in the CO Rockies where i lived for 6 years. And even though it would be nice to pet a lion, b/c cats are just so cute, I knew enough to leave it alone. The mountain lion, while sought after by poachers, doesn't know that i'm the "good guy" - i smell like food. i smell like fear. I am, by their standards, a domesticated creature, far too civilized to put up a proper fight. I'm a human. I weigh a lot less than the mtn lion. Same thing for a grizzly.

But this guy, Timothy Treadwell, yes he named himself, decided it was his job to "protect the grizzly." fair enough, i see his point to some extent. And he felt comfortable in nature. Cool, me too. So far we have a few things in common. Now let's move on to where timothy and i differ.

Treadwell, aka Grizzly Man, lived in the grizzly maze in the alaskan wilderness for 13 summers. so far, we're still good, tim is still the man. Here's where it gets weird.

The guy actually thought he was a bear. He began to touch the bears - the GRIZZLY bears, and literally filmed himself showing "love" for a bear's poop. Yes, he touches the poop. States he loves it, because it came from a bear.

But wait, there's more.

I really could relate to treadwell's love of nature, and even his regular "i love statements" were understandable.

"i love you tree"
"i love you fox"
"i love you bear"
"i love you rock"

etc etc. you get the idea.

And he was using his footage for educational purposes, free of charge, touring around schools to teach kids about the grizzly habitat. Let's just hope the kids don't grow up and desire living with grizzlies. Still, Even though he touched poop and said "i love you bear poop" - he's treading well on the thin ice of sanity, but still tolerable. That is, if there weren't other factors.

- he's gay. just watch the movie, or don't, but trust me, he's gay. there's nothing wrong with being gay at all, i'm just sayin, this guy is on fire.
- he says he's not gay. he's lying.
- as time went on, the footage clearly shows that this guy thought he was a bear, and started to refer to areas populated with humans as "the people world"
- he began actually frolicking with the bears, as if he was a bear

so how do you think this idiot's story ends? the bears eat him, that's how.

GRIZZLY BEARS LIKE TO EAT PEOPLE.

unfortunately the lens cap was on during the consumption of timothy treadwell, but the audio was all caught on tape - however, the movie chooses not to use this as a climax. I wanted to hear him get devoured. That's how much i hated him by the end of this movie. Let Me Hear The Bear Eat Him i begged the dvd. I had to go through all 5 phases of acceptance before i came to terms with the fact that i was not going to be able to watch or view the bear eat tim treadlame.

Of course, the sad part is that on the final expedition, tim had a woman with him. The story goes like this, and i really wish i could watch:

- hungry bear (tim overstayed his welcome and it was hibernation time) who wants to eat and hibernate attacks tent
- starts to eat timothy treaddead
- girl starts to hit bear on head with frying pan
- when the bear is done with tim, he eats the girl

one can only hope the bear went to hibernate, but no - when the remains of the remains were found, so was the bear, he was shot, emptied out, and the remains were flown back to a hospital (in two trashbags).

the Grizzly Man's watch was found, and it is still ticking today.

I wonder if there is any leakage online of the bear attack? by the end of this movie, ya kinda want to see this guy get his head split open. I mean, seriously. How else would this tale of non fiction end?